Drugs have always been a problem anywhere in the world and that has been going on for years and years, probably even before many of us were born. But what’s the deal with using drugs? Is it the illegality of the substance? The wrongfully earned money? The recreational yet somewhat harmful use? I don’t think it’s any of those. Even more so, I think those problems stem from one thing – addiction. People seem to forget that drugs aren’t the only things with which you can develop an addiction. Simply put, I find addiction to be what I’d like to describe as the hook after the high. It doesn’t really matter what it is: food, sex, drugs, alcohol, shopping, it all boils down to one conclusion – the incredible feeling of a euphoric rush after you did something reckless, as if something breathed a new life into you. But that’s what addition does, doesn’t it? It breathes in a sense of life and then sucks it back out. One shot leads to another, then another then it becomes a series of shots. What you did for something as a way to get away from your problems became the source of your problems. Something that you did to make your life less miserable as it is made your life a constant state of misery. You now wake up and realize that it is something that you think you can’t do without so you go to lengths to get it – sell what you own, sell questionable things, sell your pride and dignity or sell your soul.
So what really is the problem? Is the problem what you do in itself or what it causes you to do? If you ask me, I think it’s both.
I like to think that addiction is a sort of a disease but a disease that you contracted your lifestyle, a disease that affects not only you but other people too. But there are parts of me that think it isn’t a disease and believes that it is a result of poor decision making and bad judgement. I eventually began thinking it is a result of both. You can blame anyone you want: yourself, your dopeman, your family, your ex, your abusive uncle but somewhere along the way before doing what you did, you thought ‘hey, maybe this can help me for a while’ until the unfortunate eventuality of dependency happened. It’s not something you planned, it’s not something you wanted but it happened. So, maybe everything is to blame but it is a fact of life that bad things happen and you understood and ignored the consequences of your choices resulting in your addiction.
But people make mistakes and people need to face oblivion and fight their way out of it to redeem themselves and make them stronger than who they were before.
Sure, maybe you did beat yourself to the punch and you most likely did things and made choices you’d regret but is it a life worth living to keep beating yourself up about it? Wouldn’t life be significantly better if you tried to make reparations to the things you did that hurt people you love? That’s probably all they want, you’d give them that sense of peace in their lives. Then maybe they can be happy and you can be happy because you finally got a grip and did things the right way. It is a lot of work but who said things would be easy? Things never are easy. I believe that a good life is a life that’s worth working hard for but what matters most is what you get out of it. The joy, the forgiveness and finally the peace that you deserve that you worked hard to earn. Maybe you aren’t there yet and maybe you’re thinking about it. Things aren’t always about what you can do for yourself. It’s about what you can do to other people too. Life is more fulfilling when realize you have been someone who’s brought positive change. To some, it might not make sense now but it might eventually be a reality or a wake up call.
That’s probably what addiction is, the illusion of heaven to a life of hell until you eventually break free and live a life searching for peace.