Depression

Depression

Every once in a while there are times when someone is sad…extremely sad. That extreme sadness seems to come out of nowhere until it starts to affect what you do everyday – you seem to be apathetic to your surroundings, the things you found hilarious don’t seem to be doing it for you anymore, there are weird aches in your body and you just feel tired all the time to the point where you don’t even want to get out of bed. That extreme sadness begins to change the way of how you think too – you somehow begin to think the future is a bad thing, that whenever something good happens it turns into something bad, thinking of ending your life seems to be a good idea and a benefit to many. This seemingly endless extreme sadness last weeks, months, even years so you try to fill that void with drugs, alcohol, meaningless sex or shopping sprees to get a high that would make you forget the bitter reality you call life for a little while and then wake up the next morning doing the same thing again but the feeling that you’re trying to get rid off doesn’t seem to go away. One thing led to another, another decision turned into a consequence, something happened beyond your control and now, you’ve ended up in this state: a seemingly endless sadness that made you feel miserable and dying a little inside, like life was siphoned out of your being. That’s what’s depression is in the simplest sense I can ever put into words. Not all of us have been there but I bet a lot have been there.

People glorify it nowadays because love and depression is what makes art beautiful. Someone gets frustrated and no other forms of release seem to get them off that state so they express themselves in creative ways hence, art. But what is it, really? What really is depression in its most logical sense? It is a mental disease, something that needs to be treated. I don’t think I can ever live a time where thinking about killing yourself or letting yourself die everyday would be acceptable in a society, to think that life in misery is a beautiful one. Like diabetes, like cancer, like the common cold, depression is an intrusive and irritating disease that doesn’t have a cure. It’s a disease we’re trying to cure, believe me. The more we try to understand what it is, the closer we are to working a cure. The human body is made to survive, not to self-destruct. The glorification of a debilitating disease is a slap to people who have to suffer it harder than most.

Sadness is one thing, depression is another. Depression is a prolonged state of sadness until it manifests itself physiologically and psychologically. It never is a beautiful thing. If anything, it is a painful thing. it robs you off the quality of life, your happiness, your fulfillment as a person moreover, it affects people around you; the people you care about. But the question is: should one feel guilty for being depressed? I think the most logical answer is no. The human body is a beautiful thing. It is sort of like a machine that can take care of itself but, like any other machines, it can’t always perform perfectly. There are things in it that is bound to go wrong sometimes that’s why we get sick. We can’t always cope with everything all the time. We aren’t exactly all limitless, there are times we are vulnerable too. Afterall, nature isn’t always perfect.

There are a few things I would like to say to people who are depressed and one of them is: try. I know, it doesn’t sound easy. Believe me, I really know. Maybe someone is at the point where they just want to end their lives and get it over with. What is another week if you’re going to end it all anyway? Maybe you should try asking someone out, maybe you should try getting the body you want, maybe you should push yourself harder at work, maybe you should try a new hobby. it doesn’t cure depression but you can definitely figure out something in yourself that you probably never have before. Don’t you think it would make you happy to look back at your old life and say ‘wow, I never thought I could do this. I’m glad I tried.’ Another thing is: talk. Humans are social animals, we depend on other human beings to survive in one way or another. Humans are emotional creatures too. We have sympathy, empathy, and compassion. “No man is an island,” they say. Asking for help to carry your burden is not always a bad thing. Lastly: think. Is there anything you can do to improve your current state right now? The answer would most likely be yes. Think about the things you always wanted to do, the people in your life that need you and the people you might meet. You can always change yourself and be an agent of change, to improve your life and others’. Isn’t that a nicer thing to think of than killing yourself? We all die in the end, that is inevitable. Why not contribute something to improve someone’s life, your family, your friends, your community?

Depression is a disease that gives you two choices: either you let it consume you or you can do something to work against it. Life isn’t exactly the most beautiful thing ever because problems and obstacles come our ways that seems to increase in difficulty as we advance through life but such is life and life is meant to be lived, not spent in misery.

Storms always pass.

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27 thoughts on “Depression

  1. Thank you @staciejaxx. I needed this today. Depression is a bitch. Some days are easier than others. Other days….it can get the best of you. It’s so hard having to deal with something that many people don’t understand, or completely MISunderstand. Hell, even you yourself can’t understand it most of the time. It’s nice when you can hear (or read) when someone describes your condition so perfectly. For a moment you don’t feel so lost, so lonely, so abnormal. The fear and hopelessness ease up a bit. You just try to hang on until you feel better….until you’re able to smile and laugh without faking it. Thanks again for sharing that kay. โค

  2. Been there, done that. Honestly, what drove me away from the storm was the “entretainment”, keeping myself busy with what i could, works, studies, anything to keep my head from drifting into “enemy territory”, writing down stuff helped alot to relieve that excess of stress, expression with words does wonders. And when things were hitting rock bottom, believe it or not, but “Youtube Poops” (YTPs) were my only medicine. ๐Ÿ˜† Silly, distorted shit was the only thing making me realise i wasnt dead yet. That was my “light switch”, but i believe we must all have our triggers to get out of that state… ๐Ÿ˜€

  3. Great post @staciejaxx ๐Ÿ™‚ I’ve been, in and out of the storm. I try to just focus on the good things and ignore the negatives, I focus on what makes me happy and what interests me to keep me out of the storm, Listening to music,Watching youtube videos or TV,Hanging with friends, things like that. Although I have my bad days, I look at the positives. Things will get better.

  4. Great post @staciejaxx. I dont have depression long enough to be considered depressed. My moods change as easily as the weather. Being bipolar and with borderline personality disorder I’m always in flux. But I can imagine that being so low as to want to actually kill yourself day in and day out is a horrible thing to have to live with. I think that everyone just wants to be happy. And sometimes we have to make that happiness ourselves. Other times medicine is necessary to balance things out inside. The mind and brain are very complicated and no two people are the same. What works for me will not necessarily work for you.

    But, being “primarily” social creatures (although I am by nature a hermit), we have the capacity to empathise with our fellows and share our stories. This in itself, learning from one another and giving each other insight, can lead to healing. None of you are alone. You have us here and we are here for all of you. This is as much your home as it is ours, you members and lurkers of RGM.

    Obli

    • I’ve got decades of this archived album format; as in regards to friends, lol, I maybe have about two but the last one person was a lying bastard and had no qualms using that against me. Anyway, after dropping that fucker years ago I felt a bit better, that and leaving Seattle too.

  5. You hide behind this life
    A mask to the others’ eye
    Be it shame or pity
    Or just the fear inside

    To shelter the soul in shadow
    Blackout the world around you
    Led by hand; blind, you follow

    To silence the voices calling
    Drown out the pain it’s causing
    Memories of misery

    What is real is known not to me
    Fantasies of my being
    The screaming echoes through me
    Return to darkness
    Return to darkness

    Inside the mind of another
    Portraying flesh prone to suffer
    Tormented by my demons

    This lowliness is killing
    Life has bled me empty
    My soul has led me to…
    Return…

    To darkness…

  6. Wow…ya had me at meaningless sex….IF I could have that everyday or at my beckoning I’d never be depressed…yet then again,I know how pleasurable/mood stabilizing it is to have sex (make love) with someone ya love/who loves you…YET AGAIN I do ….ME ! …when I’m jerking off, so idk if that’s what’s been keeping me alive,or making me bummed out.? Is all psychological. When it comes to any feelings of apathy,gloom,or suicide I think it’s better to be alive cuz when your gone your SO FUCKIN GONE! I agree Kay, it’s like a sickness or pain,that should subside. I’m one of dem folks who to never understood how any “normal” person could be depressed or have suicidal thoughts,but now in my early 40s ?coughs…I sorta get it…I mean maybe after living to a certain age sometimes feel like you’ve had enough ?… of bills,bullshit,society,heartaches,or letdowns…or worse health issues. So I can’t fault or get mad at someone suffering from Depression, even if they have a great life…tho that stuns me and pisses me off.I think the best medicine is loving yourself…take inventory of life…for me,I’m happy to say I have all my fingers+toes,I can walk/run,wipe my own ass,still in pretty good shape/fit, my job isn’t stressful,not drug addicted,etc…(I know sounds like I’m bragging,but I’m not) …and I realize I have nothing to be really down about. It can ALWAYS be worse. So I procrastinate a lot,and don’t have real goals or dreams to fulfill but whatever. It’s mostly state of mind.

  7. I also believe there are different kinds of depression. I’ve been on depression meds for years. Not because I’ve wanted to take my life, but more because I was just so darn sad. Hopeless really. It started when my wife had cancer and I had to be the sole breadwinner, her support and caregiver, and pretty much a single parent during that time. I felt as if I was carrying the world on my shoulders. Many years later, I now have both my kids back home but this time with grandkids because they couldn’t make it on their own. So here I am, carrying the world around again, and the only thing that keeps me smiling is the damn Prozac.

  8. To hell with the word Depression .just lighten up folks

    1) Q: Whatโ€™s an advantage being stressed?
    A: You never have to make your bed, since youโ€™re always in it.

    2) Man goes to doctor. Says he’s depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world. Doctor says the treatment is simple. The great clown Terrifini is in town tonight. Go and see him. That should pick you up. Man bursts into tears: “But doctor . . . I am Terrifini.

    3) How can you distinguish the staff from the patients in the asylum?
    The staff has the door key.

    4) When life is going wrong,
    when stress engulfs you, when tears flow down your eyes,
    just give me a call:
    because I sell tissue papers!

    5) Q: What’s good about depression?
    A: You always have your funeral planned in advance,

    6) My life is full of tensions and worries. And I see the same in your life.
    โ€œI don’t have big anxieties. I wish I did. I’d be much more interesting.โ€

    7) Q: How do you keep a blonde in stress?
    A: (I’ll tell you tomorrow.)

    8) Psychiatrist to his nurse: “Please just say we’re very busy.
    Don’t keep saying “It’s a madhouse in here!”

    9) Q. What’s the difference between “anxiety” and “panic?”
    A. “Anxiety” is when, for the first time, you can’t do it the second time.
    “Panic” is when, for the second time, you can’t do it the first time.

    10) What is stress?
    Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven’t fallen asleep yet.

    11) The psychology professor was giving an oral test.
    Speaking about manic depression, she asked, “How would you diagnose a patient who screams at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?”
    A sports-minded young man answered, “He’s probably a basketball coach?”

    12) I saw a book titled “Anxiety and Depression For Dummies” yesterday in the store… Not sure it’s the brightest idea to label someone looking for mental health help a “dummy”.

    13) What are you having in your breakfast?
    Iโ€™m on stress diet, Iโ€™m having 1/2 grapefruit, 1 slice whole wheat toast and 8 oz. skim milk.

    14) When you feel stressed out, when everyone seem to be leaving you,
    when the world seems to be fading away into the mist,
    please let me know: I will take you to the eye specialist for a checkup!

    15) Q: What’s good about Treatment Resistant Anxiety?
    A: You qualify for all the Clinical Trials!

  9. Demons Of Darkness

    She stood on the bridge
    In silence and fear
    For the demons of darkness
    Had driven her here

    They cut her heart
    Right out of her chest
    Making her believe
    That the demons knew best

    They were always there
    Sometimes just out of sight
    Waiting in the background
    Till the time was right

    These demons were destructive
    Knocking down the life she knew
    Hating everything about her
    She hated herself too

    These demons can’t be seen
    But they’re far from fairy tales
    They live inside your mind
    Their evilness prevails

    So on the bridge she stood
    About to end the fight
    Then she stopped and thought
    I’ll fight them one more night

    ———Olivia B

  10. I know talking to people helps but i just hate them so damn much…. having a hobby helps a little i guess. I just couldnt put it on my family. They have already been through to much mentaly. Realy the only reason i keep on! You just seem to reach this point eventualy when theres just this numb feeling. Was your dinner good? It was numb. That new movie? Numb. Kind of like when all the fuses blow in your truck and now you have no radio or lights but that one window can still move a little. I try to be thankfull that my window still moves but its hardly cause for celebration when it seems the ship is sinking around you. The damn ship is even sinking in my dreams. Doesnt help i lucid dream….. i wonder daily what life is like seen through closed eyelids. But then i remember that somebody somewhere is counting on me to stop beeing a selfish asshole and wake up, so i do, and thus i begin another day.

        • Yes. Talk to your doctor. Tell them about your depression. It’s not easy to admit you need help, especially if you consider yourself a strong person. For me, admitting I needed help and talking to my doctor was one of the best choices I ever made. SSRIs like Prozac don’t help overnight, but after a few weeks you notice things aren’t so bad. You don’t get mad or sad so easily. You can think things out rationally. And you can begin enjoying things again. It doesn’t make your life better, but it does change how you react to your life.

          • @uniballer
            I’m so glad you did talk to your doctor and got help for it. You’re right, it’s such a hard thing for people to admit. I think because there’s still a stigma attached to anything to do with the human mind that people are less likely to seek help. I’m glad things are working out for you and I hope it continues getting better ?

  11. Shit that’s not depression. Imagine having everything you owned and worked hard for taken from you and leaving you with nothing left. Not even your kids. And you can’t talk to no one because nobody cares everybody will just laugh. Can’t afford an apartment because you don’t have any money. Nowadays it’s much easier to find a job in America. There’s no excuses for why people don’t have a job now, but imagine being laid off from your high salary job. I’ve seen some people make the best of it but I can see it’s hard. No amount of booze or drugs will fill you up if you can’t even afford any! The worst part about it is how society treats us. No I can see how someone contemplates suicide from the outlines I explained above.

  12. Sorry I’ve been gone for a long time. I’ve had major depression for my entire life; combination of genetics and past abuse. I’m the most stable now than I’ve ever been. That being said, I’ve been white-knuckling it as a newly-divorced (amicable), single mom to two teens. I’ve been struggling the past few months with depression. Knowing I’m the “stable parent” with full physical custody, makes it that much more difficult to power through the chronic pain, migraines, disability, and the sludge of depression.

    Like @deathoverdue mentioned about himself, all of my friends are online. It’s exhausting trying to keep up appearances with other parents whom I volunteer with at school. I don’t really fit in, because I don’t have any income other than the small amt of child support I receive–so I’m always making sure my kiddos come first and not my fashion.

    I have a 16 yr old son who is transgender (F2M) and has ADHD, anxiety & depression. A 15 yr old daughter who has T1 diabetes, OCD, anxiety, depression, and an eating disorder. The good that has come out of all this is: I caught all of these signs in them early so they could get stable on medication and therapy. Having been a self-injurer for 23 years, sought treatment, and haven’t cut or burned myself for the past 10 years has prepared me to catch the signs early in both kids. Neither has cut themselves in a couple of years.

    Yet, with being given such a beautiful gift of two talented, artistic, teenagers, I’m still struggling. My win of today? I took a shower and got dressed today. Baby steps. If I’m quiet, it’s not because I’m dead. It’s because I’m still fighting the good fight. ?

  13. Memories and drinks don’t mix too well.
    Jukebox records don’t play those wedding bells.
    Lookin’ at the world through the bottom of a glass,
    All I see is a man who’s fading fast.
    Tonight I need that woman again.
    What I’d give for my baby to just walk in.
    Sit down beside me and say: “It’s alright.
    “Take me home and make sweet love to me tonight.”

    But here I am again, mixin’ misery and gin.
    Sittin’ with all my friends and talkin’ to myself.
    I look like I’m havin’ a good time but any fool can tell,
    That this honky tonk Heaven really makes ya’ feel like hell.

    I light a lonely woman’s cigarette,
    We both start talkin’ ’bout what we want to forget.
    Her life story and mine are the same.
    We both lost someone and only have ourselves to blame.

    But here I am again, mixin’ misery and gin.

    Nothing better than being down and hearing this sad drunken sumbitching song,when your a sad drunken sumbitch like me,

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